Trials Fusion – Practice makes Psychotic

Do you like your friends? Do you want to hate them? Then invite them to beat your records in Trials Fusion.

This video game is a fun fest of fun tests. You go up and down and, most importantly, straight forward to reach your goal within a time that your friends would never even dream of.

Unless they do! And is it ever frustrating to see the notification that JuicyButtfart420 beat your record that you worked so hard on by 0.001 second. Now it’s time to turn on the AC because you’ll be sweating seated in the same position for hours, never eating or drinking while you play the same race track over and over again, resetting every single failed landing, miss-timed brake, or unlucky stumble, just to get the high score back in your name.

But, oops, SquirtingNectarous69 performed a few more flips than you did and here they are with a better score despite being 0.004 seconds slower than you. Is that a glitch? Maybe, but don’t think you’ll find out since there is no way of knowing how the scores get accumulated.

It’s fine, just get your ass back in there and watch as the simulated ghost of SourGav_MLGPr0 is always an inch ahead of you, daunting your every move and blasting away as you get too distracted by their presence and fuck up at that one spot at the end where you always make the same mistake and just can’t figure out how to avoid it.

Even when you finally manage to be way ahead of Mannsterdam666, somehow that last fidget that you couldn’t control ruins the whole race and your opponent beats you.


Now it’s time to play the later levels where speed is traded for skill, and you know you didn’t have that in the first place but let’s not dwell on that. Yes, you’re still timed for your performance but the majority of the track goes up on a ninety degree angle, so you better have paid attention during that one tutorial level that barely covered the necessary training to prepare yourself for this ultimate challenge of inching your way forward on a track that takes fifteen minutes to complete if you don’t fuck up. And if you do, well good thing you can reset your mistakes instantly. Now you’ll only need to spend the entire day just to finish one track, but oooooops, BeardedBaseball007 just beat your record. Don’t even look at the time because you know it’s a number nobody ever used in real life before, and let’s get back at it. Might as well skip work for the next couple weeks, how else will you prove that you’re the best at riding a bike from one end to another without falling over?

Hey, at least you get to customize your bike and rider with wacky costumes as long as you pay the in-game currency to get the most unique styles. These will not affect your performance at all, so you know it’s worth it.

Now get in there and play some Trials Fusion, where if you can’t beat the game, you’ll beat your head through a wall.





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