How to choose your Witcher Tattoo
Are you desperate for attention but have no idea how to properly bring up your redeeming qualities in a casual conversation? Do people find it weird how you hijack random discussions to talk about yourself instead of the Netflix adaptation of The Witcher? Do you not want to change that aspect of your shitty personality and rather find a better way of shifting the conversation to be about yourself? Then you are the right candidate to get a tattoo!
Tattoos are ink symbols injected into your skin. While they will last forever, they won’t look as sharp a decade later. But neither will you, so what do you got to lose? Money? Yeah, I guess, you’re right, that shit’s expensive. Unless you know someone with a tattoo gun in their basement. Sweet, now you’re back on track as well as on budget, so let’s talk about tattoos!
What to get?
Trying to figure out what tattoo to get is like thinking about having children: Unless you’re really into it, you’ll probably regret it later. This means you will have to be absolutely certain that the image in question is going to be appreciated for the rest of your life. More importantly, it has to have a specific meaning that can be linked to you, that way every time someone asks about your ink, you’ll gain the opportunity to talk about yourself.
The best way to do that is to pick an image first and make up a related meaning later. It’s important not to pick a franchise that is instantly recognizable, or else there will be no question about the tattoo at all. For example, a Legend of Zelda Triforce tattoo will only illicit a statement like “ah, Zelda, got it” rather than an inquiry about its meaning. Pick a franchise that’s well-known within its inner circle, but not so mainstream that a single symbol could explain what it’s all about.
Don’t worry, you don’t have to do any research, because I’m here to help. I have already picked the best source of ink-spiration for you with the signs in The Witcher!
Witcher signs and their relation to you
There is quite a handful of spells Geralt of Rivia performs throughout the series of the books, but since these books don’t have pictures we will focus on the ones in the video game. Here we have five of these so called signs, four of which are attributed to the four elements, and the fifth sign is just kinda hanging out.
Based on the element of fire, the Igni sign lets the Witcher shoot a burst of fire out of his hand. Pretty straight forward. If you get the Igni sign tattooed on your body you can claim it’s because you’re hot-headed, hot-tempered, or that you like hot food. Anything that has an increased temperature can be the source of your meaning.
That sounds like “fart” and that’s because it’s the wind sign that pushes your enemies away with a strong blow. Get this engraved on your body if you want to talk about your inability to accept help and support from others, or push your friends and family away from you. This is also fitting if you are a constant procrastinator that pushes deadlines, or a daredevil pushing your own body’s limits.
Did you get grounded a lot when you were a kid? Well, the Quen sign is based on the earth element, so that might be a good start. In the game it lets Geralt create a protective shield around him to ward off attacks from enemies without getting hurt. This would be perfect for someone with thick skin who doesn’t care what others think about them. Similarly, you could use this symbol to mention your need to protect others, or how you’re very careful with taking risks and prefer to be shielded and secure.
They must have run out of elements because somehow this is associated with water. The Axii sign is the Jedi mind trick in the Witcher universe and serves you well with special dialogue options in the game or making enemies fight each other. In the real world, if you have a persuasive personality, you might be casting Axii on those fools. Tell them about how good of a salesman you are and why this fits so fell into the way you can talk your way out of any situation or into anyone’s pants.
Did I mention they ran out of elements? I don’t think Yrden is based on any of them, since there are only 4, and the symbol itself seems to be the mad science experiment of fusing Igni and Axii. Although in theory “mind fire” sounds epic as fuck, this is not what you get with the Yrden sign. This one is mainly used to stop Wraiths from being so goddamn see-through and helps you actually connect your hits. It can “reveal” weaknesses or be upgraded into a trap that damages nearby enemies. Thinking about it this way, should you choose this sign, you can mention how anti-spiritual you are. Every time someone even mentions the existence of ghosts, you’ll be quick to point out what kind of bullshit that is. Like casting Yrden, you manifest the “ghost” and reveal it for what it truly is: not real. You’re a fellow of finding facts and uncovering myths and misconceptions almost magically. This alone could make you appear more interesting than the Yrden sign itself.
Get your Witcher sign tattoo now!
There’s no point in thinking about the consequences about this now when you could think about the ways you could redirect discussions into the topic of “you”. So go get yourself one, two, or all of these Witcher signs. Hell, if you wanna be real creative, put them all together into one super sign! That will start a conversation for sure.
Which sign would fit you best and what’s your excuse for getting it?