CRAFT BEER STORIES – Super Galactic Space Dragon
Super Galactic Space Dragon
Odin Brewing Company
Double IPA, 8.9 %
My journey through the different dimensions of craft beer began last year when a can of Galactic Space Dragon mysteriously appeared in my fridge. Since then I gained the ability to travel to different realms by simply drinking interesting craft brews. Don’t question it, it’s real.
Yet, looking back at the worlds I visited, I believe it was time to enhance my abilities and become one with the divine trinity of wheat, malt, and hop. This revelation came to me in a bottle.
I was walking along one of Victoria’s many beaches, letting my puppy run wild on the sand, bothering other people and dogs. It’s ok, though, she’s insured. The waves moved back and forth only about two feet away from my two feet. That stupid ocean thought it could get me but chickened out every time. Until, of course, it chucked an empty beer bottle into my ankle. It didn’t hurt at all, so I wiped away the tears and picked it up. I could get a dime for recycling the bottle and show the ocean that its attack was fruitless and even proved beneficial for me. That’s when I noticed something inside of the beer container: a piece of paper. Something about this situation felt oddly familiar. The beer label was already worn out by time, and possibly space, which gave me no hint as to its origins.
I shook the bottle upside down to get the paper out and finally reveal what’s inside. While my dog was trying to bite the waves to avenge her father, I managed to drag out the note. The paper was surprisingly dry and felt brittle, as if it could fall apart in my hands any moment. Unlike in most of my life decision, I applied the utmost care into unrolling the note. There were only a few words written on the piece of paper. But it was enough to shoot a surge of memories into my brain. I remembered a ship, a thunderstorm, and me being stranded in another world. How did I get out of there? That’s where the memories ended and left me with more questions about my visits to other worlds. And the answer was right here on that note that said “Super Galactic Space Dragon”.
When I awoke from that trance, the note in my hand disappeared. My puppy princess seemed to have triumphed over the waves as well. She sat in front of me, proud of the battle’s outcome. Despite her pet insurance, I was concerned about the tall can of beer in her mouth. Did she get that from a random passerby or was that the ocean’s peace offering to stop her relentless attacks? I shrugged and took the can from her.
“Of course”, I said to myself. “A can of Super Galactic Space Dragon. Could this be any more convenient?”
Another ocean wave rippled through the sand as a fully intact tulip shaped beer glass washed onto the shore. I was going to politely decline the offer. Sand wasn’t an additive I liked in my beer. But there was a connection here that I needed to get to the bottom to, and sometimes this demanded a sacrifice.
I cracked the can open and poured the Dragon into the glass. The first sip surprised me. The 8.9 percent would indicate a strong presence of alcohol in its flavour, yet it didn’t taste strong at all. I was wondering why they couldn’t bump it up by another 0.1 percent and make it an even 9. And that question, or rather that 0.1 percent, made me remember the shipwreck again.
I took another sip. What an utterly smooth drink. Unfathomably smooth, I’d say, from start to finish, especially for its high alcohol content. The foam was dancing on my tongue and washed down with hardly any bitterness at all. This beer was deliciously juicy and even tastier than its predecessor. I drank the rest of the beer quickly. The taste was incredible, and soon the journey began.
There was no more beach around me, only wide open space and giant purple hued planets floating around. A blue dragon, bigger than the previous one, flew me through the universe of beers. This was it. This was how I could unlock the powers to visit even more craft beer realms and tell their stories. I placed my palms on the back of the beast and tried to focus in on its mind. The scent of citrus gushed through my nose. The dragon’s scales fluttered and vines shot out, twisting around my wrists. Within mere seconds the vines grew hop flowers that somehow stabbed into my flesh. The green buds pulsated as they filled my veins with their aromatic bitterness.
“That might just make me more cynical, but I’m down”, I told the dragon.
It didn’t care.
The dragon released his hot breath, a cloud of silver that streamed ahead, twirled around, and formed a portal in front of us. That was it! That was the power of controlled jumps into other craft beer dimensions. No more random dangerous traps. No more negotiations with nefarious witches. No more Gordon Ramsay. The dragon flew through the portal. Icy particles scratched at my skin for not even a second, and suddenly we were out through the portal, gliding along the ocean towards a small island.
The dragon circled around it. At first, all I could see was a ship, or at least one half of it, stranded on the beach. But when I looked closer I noticed a person watching the dragon fly through the sky. That dude began scribbling something on a piece of paper and pushed it into a bottle of what, from my perspective, looked like a Renfrew Red Ale. Then he stood there dumbfounded for a while, before he finally threw the bottle into the sea.
Of course I recognized that guy and I knew exactly what to do. When the vines released my hands, I reached into the inside of my jacket pocket and produced the tulip glass. It still had some sand residue, the thought of which made my teeth grind. With careful aim I randomly threw the glass over my shoulder, hoping that destiny would take care of the rest for me, cause I had shit to do.
I was filled with excitement about the new possibilities that opened up before me like a hazy portal and I couldn’t wait to tell my dog about it.
Rating: Smooooooth out of ten